You can't motorboat a personality
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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