He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
