Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
