drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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