i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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