I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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