i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize