Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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