they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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