shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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