All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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