you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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