i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
