Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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