ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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