I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
