you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
