Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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