just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
