i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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