Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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