therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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