toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
COCAINE IS GR8
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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