So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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