There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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