Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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