I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
