this beer tastes like vomit already
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As shirtless as possible
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
