It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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