his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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