Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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