no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
