We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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