Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Buhtt sex?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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