bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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