There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
