the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
