what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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