I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
