i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
