There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
