That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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