so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
