The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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