you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
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so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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