How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
