New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
