hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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