break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
