haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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