hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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