Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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