Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
