My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
we should paint friendship bongs
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize