My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
