so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he high fived his dick after we had sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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