I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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